Do you want to ask questions, send praise or
insult a fictional character? Sure, we all do,
and here's your chance! E-Mail us and tell us
what you think. Even if it's not very intelligent.

Hell, ESPECIALLY if it's not very intelligent.
Stupid people are so easy to make fun of
and we're lazy.

Hi. Mugsy. Mugsy's my name and answering questions is my thing I'm doing right now! I'm Pat's sidekick, and, as the animations from Camp Chaos will tell you, his room-mate, and sure, some say, and by some I mean me, soul-mate. Anyhoo. Let's get to the first question you have for me.

Lez go!

Have you considered posting your comics at a larger size so that all the text is readable? Also, upside-down text is incredibly hard to read on a monitor.

-Z.B.

Hi, Z.B.! Good good question.

I have suggested this to the folks that run the site, Mr. Lynch and Mr. Hobbit, and even showed them my lap-top to prove Pat looks small on the computer screen, and they looked at me like I was a drugged out beatnik.

At first I thought it was because they were snobby and I was a little upset, and then I realized their queer looks were because I was actually showing them my toaster, and the "pat" comic in question was my reflection. This made me happy, because when I removed my grilled cheese sandwhich from my laptop, plugged it in and checked out the site, I thought the cartoons looked fine, but then I was sad because I realized that the comics weren't solely about me, looking confused in my kitchen. Reflections are funny! But guns aren't, kids, don't use guns.

As for the upside text problem, do what I do, just turn your computer screen upside down. But be careful, alot of crumbs and burnt cheese bits will fall out. That was fun!

You da bomb yo!!! ANP is rocking the mutha-fucking house!!! I gots a question fo you! Have you ever thought of the long-term ramifications of using fuel sources like nuclear power and other fossil fuels instead of hydroelectric or solar power? How will this affect your comic strip?

Sincerely,
Fats Brown
"Who's got da biscuits? Brian-Mutha Fucking-Lynch! Dat's who!"

Ha ha, no Fats, you da bomb. Yo. See, I speak the black talk, we can totally chill on the hammy side.

As for nuclear power, I'm all for it. If the world had more nuclear powered stuff like a nuclear powered toaster computer, then they'd be alot more nuclear accidents, and as such, a lot more super heroes being created. That's what the world needs, more origins. I think Paula Poundstone wouldn't-a diddled that gal (and it hasn't been proven, so don't go pointing fingers...and if you do, please, for God's sake, don't take the pointed finger and diddle a gal like Ms. Poundstone) if she had super powers. Because she'd know, with great power comes no time to diddle gals.

Brian,

Don't know why it took me so long, to go to your site (perhaps the fact that naked pat makes me feel horribly inadequate, but I digress) Cool comic, makes me laugh.. Mad props to you, my friend
Kev
(the mollusk)

I'm not Brian, at all, but I thank you for the props. You all dat, yo. Shoot, you didn't say you're a homey like Fats, did you? It's okay, I can talk cracker. Urm, thank you for the kind words, good sir. It was as fun to read as it is to play the golf and not do black people things. O-Town is really coming together.

two things:
1. you've never done acid? i'm sorry, you're missing out. it's fun. more fun than trent reznor doing standup, which brings me to this question;
2. i know you like to make fun of things you both like and dislike, how do you feel about trent/ nine inch nails? just curious.

in conclusion, do acid.

No sir, I have never done acid. It burns. Have you seen ALIEN? I haven't, but Pat told me their blood is acid and it burned right through a robot, and now you want me to roll something that could burn through a robot and smoke it? What are you on, Acid?

And Brian likes Nine Inch Nails, but I don't. Their music is mean and angry and makes fun of people.

And as you know, that ain't cool, unless you're naked and mean and angry and making fun of a poorly drawn repesentation of the person you're trying to hurt.

Which brings me to my apology. I'm sorry, Paula Poundstone. I don't know if you really did what everyone says you did and for making light I apologize. You're the skinny, shoulder-padded Rosie O' Donnell and I salute you.

And I'm also sorry I laughed at this joke my friend Dan McGee made up.

What's the difference between John Wayne Gacy and Paula Poundstone?

John Wayne Gacy's funny.

I'm sorry.

Have been reading your comic and enjoyed the off center if not "off-your-rocker" humor. What I did notice tho, is your art and humor are very similar in style to Phil Foglio. Are you a fan, or is this a co-ink-i-dink?

--Kelli

Kelli, I don't know who this Phil Foglio is, but if you like him, he must be as funny as John Wayne Gacy, because you m'lady have a talent with the phrase turnin'.

First, you used "off your rocker", which is so hip and out to lunch it gave me half a chubby. Full wood only came when I reached "co-ink-i-dink". Are you single? Seriously. Pat gets all the girls, and I get nothing. Maybe it's because I'm a two foot turtle with a beatles' mop top. But I think you could ignore that, Kelli, and we could find true love. The kind of love that everyone's saying Paula Poundstone found with that little girl but I don't believe because it hasn't been proven. Call me.

Maybe Pat should go fishing?? Of course, he might not be so angry. What do you think? Love your work and your wit on the boards,
ReneeW. A.K.A. lilspoiled1 (on the message boards at view askew)

I have often told Pat he should go fishing, but he looks at me with those angry eyes and makes the "o" shape with his mouth. I don't get it.

I'm worried about him. I mean sure, he's in color now, and soon he'll be up and walking around and talking, but he seems to be getting more miffed. Hold me, ReneeW. A.K.A. lilspoiled1 (on the message boards at view askew).

Just kidding, Ms. (on the message boards at view askew), I'm all Kelli's. But I must admit, getting two letters from girls that are obviously flirting with Mugsy is quite the co-ink-i-dink, don't you think?

Now I've just given MYSELF have a chubby. If Ms. Poundstone had the power to do this, the children of the world we be safe, except they already are because nothing has been proven.

And now, our last letter! Boy oh boy, where did the time fly? I hope it's a nice one, so we end on a happy note!

re: ANP's Guide to the Internet

I'm offended about "Pat's" views on online dating and friendships. Maybe "Pat" had a bad internet experience. I know that I have.

I, however, have met someone online and am now living with him and planning on getting married to him. Perhaps "Pat" thinks it's better that you meet someone at a church picnic or drunk out-of-your-mind at a bar. Now's that creepy to me.

L

Well, L, good for you. If a creepy man like yourself can meet another creepy man via the internet, then that means two more creepy men off the street that won't bother us normals.

Seriously, I, for one salute you from afar and let's keep it that way. You are dead right with your observations that the only two places for stupid people that don't use computers to meet people are at a church picnic or loaded at some weird bar. Social interaction and talking is super over rated. For your honeymoon, may I suggest the AINT IT COOL chat room? You can talk all private and get it on like Paula Poundstone and that little girl didn't.

Brian just pointed out that he's never met any of his girlfriends at church picnics OR drunk in a bar, but I told him off for you. Or anyway, I'm gonna, once I go home and think of a really funny reply and email it to him, because according to you that's the only way that's not creepy and from now on you're my mentor.

Does this email count as our first date?