Do you want to ask questions, send praise or
insult a fictional character? Sure, we all do,
and here's your chance! E-Mail us and tell us
what you think. Even if it's not very intelligent.

Hell, ESPECIALLY if it's not very intelligent.
Stupid people are so easy to make fun of
and we're lazy.

Teen violence is a touchy subject. Back in 1995, Vincent Pereira made a film about it called A BETTER PLACE. It has since dominated the festival circuit for the past couple of years, and attracted the attention of Synapse Films, who have just released a special edition of said DVD that you can order by going HERE.

Recently, Vincent Pereira agreed to sit down with angrynakedpat.com and answer our questions. We knew that we'd have to send someone who would handle the delicate subject matter with the utmost respect and dignity. So, sit back, and enjoy...

BI POLAR BEAR INTERVIEWS VINCENT PEREIRA

Transcript from events that took place July 1, 2001

Vinnie enters room. Bi Polar Bear gets up to greet the writer and director of A BETTER PLACE, but giant bear belly hits mug of water on table in front of him. Bi Polar Bear starts crying. Vin looks confused. Crying turns to insane laughing. Vin looks frightened. They sit down. Bi Polar Bear picks up index cards, reads his questions.

BI POLAR BEAR: Vincent Pereira. Can I call you Vinnie?

VINCENT: No, I prefer to be called Vincent, thank you.

BI POLAR BEAR:
(Nods)
Now Vinnie, your movie, A BETTER PLACE, is coming out to de-vid.
(Reads card)
That says DVD, doesn't it? I'm new. Hah. DON'T LAUGH AT ME. Your new movie, A BETTER PLACE, comes out on DVD this summer, and I must say, I watched it last night, on V-Hiss. It was stirring and shocking and a realistic look at teen violence. Which brings me to my first question...why do you think everyone hates me?

VINCENT: What does that have to do with A BETTER PLACE??

BI POLAR BEAR: Don't judge me. Now the leads, Barrett and Ryan, there's a bit of flirting going on there, hmmmm? Did the romance continue once you yelled "CUT", Vincent Pereira?

VINCENT: It's not meant to be flirting- it's meant to be like when you get your first girlfriend and your best buddy gets jealous. Ryan is stuck in this place where he hasn't really emotionally matured beyond the time when his parents died, and he befriends Barret and then Barret starts making other friends and Ryan can't deal, like when you're 13 and you or your best buddy start getting into girls and maybe get a first girlfriend---

Vincent notices Bi-Polar Bear looking VERY confused.

VINCENT: Oh, I'm sorry. I was working under the assumption that you've HAD a first girlfriend, but you know what I'm saying, right?

BI POLAR BEAR: What? I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking about this guy on the bus over here. Yeah, he looked at me wrong. But I showed him.
(Pauses)
No I didn't. Are the actors who played Ryan and Barrett still together?

VINCENT: Uhm, no. No, they are not.

BI POLAR BEAR: What made you want to write about teen violence, Vincent Pereira?

VINCENT: Well, it's something I'd always been interested in, and then towards the end of 1993 I saw a news program about the Jamie Bulger murder in England and---

BI POLAR BEAR: If I could interrupt---

VINCENT: If you could interrupt? But you just asked me---

BI POLAR BEAR:---have you ever watched BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER? That had alot to say about violence in high school.

VINCENT: I've watched BUFFY a few times, but I don't think they are exactly exploring the same issues I was trying to explore---

BI POLAR BEAR: And why didn't you put vampires in A BETTER PLACE? Can we assume they're going to be in the sequel?

VINCENT: I'm not planning to make a sequel, and if I was supernatural elements like Vampires wouldn't fit---

BI POLAR BEAR: Yes, totally. Vampires certainly are cool. And while they're not real, I'd assume if they were, they'd be too cool to hang out with me. Tell me, how long have you been a fan of Bi Polar Bear?

VINCENT: I had no idea who you were before this interview was set up, and even then if I knew it was going to be like this---

BI POLAR BEAR: I see. Well, now---
(voice cracking)
---that's, that's, now, Jason Lee was in your movie, correct? How was that---STOP JUDGING ME WITH YOUR EYES!

VINCENT: I'm not even looking at you.

BI POLAR BEAR: I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to God.
(looks upward)
Stop it.
(To Vinnie)
Now Not-God, when did you shoot A BETTER PLACE?

VINCENT: We shot the film in August of 1995 and then---

BI POLAR BEAR: Ah, 1995. Fun times. I mean, I guess they were, I have scars to prove I did SOMETHING fun back then, but gotta admit, the mid-nineties were a big, a big black haze for Bi Polar Bear. Have you ever experienced something like that?

VINCENT: Uhm... no, no I have not.

Bi Polar Bear nods. And then BEGINS WEEPING. FOR TEN MINUTES. Vin looks about the room, nervously. Bi Polar Bear's handlers come over, give him balls of peanut butter with a big pink pill hidden inside.

BI POLAR BEAR: Ah, that's better. Is it just me or does peanut butter make you feel really really happy?

VINCENT: I really think it's just you.

BI POLAR BEAR: Yes. Well, maybe if Vincent Pereira was made to eat big balls of peanut butter, he wouldn't have shot that poor child in the woods.

VINCENT: Uh, I didn't really shoot anybody in the woods, it's just a movie and that was a special effect, and like I was trying to say before, the whole idea of A BETTER PLACE was to make a commentary on youth violence and where it comes from, and to do that---

Bi-Polar Bear LAUGHS INSANELY, interrupting Vincent. He continues laughing for a few minutes, then stops when he notices Vincent staring at him horrified.

BI-POLAR BEAR: What?

VINCENT:
(getting scared)
Uh, nothing. Nothing.

BI-POLAR BEAR: Now Vinnie, your DVD has been delayed more times than my suicide. What up with that?

VINCENT: There were many reasons- we had to wait for the schedule at Skywalker Sound to clear up- they did a remix of the film there for free- then the tape of deleted scenes was accidentally misplaced and we had to have those redone, and Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier got busy making JAY & SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK and couldn't record their introduction to the DVD---

BI POLAR BEAR: Do you have a movie, Vincent? Or is this one big Andy Kaufman-esque giggle giggle you're playing on the world?

VINCENT: Yes, I have a movie! You've WATCHED it. How else would you have known that somebody got shot in the woods?

BI POLAR BEAR: Oh, that's right. So what's next for Vincent Pereira? More movies? A TV show? Giving Bi Polar Bear a ride home?

VINCENT: I'm finishing a new draft of my murder-mystery script AUTOGRAPH, have another idea for a lower-budget moody indie film, and yes, I also have an idea for a horror TV series that I'd like to try and develop.

BI POLAR BEAR: And the vampire sequel to A BETTER PLACE is coming out---?

VINCENT: There isn't going to be a sequel to A BETTER PLACE, especially not with vampires. I mean, jeez, how could you possibly look at A BETTER PLACE and think "vampires"??? Of everything you could possibly associate with A BETTER PLACE... VAMPIRES??? Where's Brian??? He told me this was going to be a serious interview, I mean, what the fuck?

BI POLAR BEAR: Hah, good one, Vincent. Good one indeed. Would you like some happy peanut butter? You're so sullen.