Grass Masters: Hearts of Glory by JORDY BOGGUSS

I realized something during a rather vigorous lawn mowing session, what Philip K. Dick must have been thinking his whole life. "Mowing Robots ain't nothing to fuck around with." Notice how he never did a story involving lawn mowing robots from the future? That's because he was a scared pussy. He was scared that whatever he wrote would somehow jump off his page and actually HAPPEN. He had just seen John Candy's Delirious and was totally bugaboo about it. He didn't want to be responsible for all the shit that would go down in a world with lawn mowing robots. Unluckily, for you I don't have that problem... for I have never seen Delirious.

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